#2 How To Set Goals That Stick (with Wally Schmader)

Show Notes

“We need cheerleaders and we need accountability partners, but they cannot be the same person.” – Wally Schmader It’s 2019 and you want to set better goals but how do you do it? How many should you make? How do you decide what’s most important and hold yourself accountable? On this episode, Chantel, Heather, and Brian Dell’Olio are joined by Wally Schmader - founder of Exceptional Leaders Lab to discuss how to set goals that STICK and how to avoid the common mistakes with goals. Wally's website: http://exceptionalleaderslab.com/ Goal sheet link      

For more resources, visit https://www.reallifeleaders.com/podcast

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Transcript

Chantel: Hey, guys. Welcome to this week's episode of Real Life Leadership Podcast where we share real-life stories from real-life leaders to help you become a better leader. I'm so excited because today we have Wally Schmader who is the founder of Exceptional Leaders Lab, and he's a two-time bestselling author, and he's also the chair of a Vistage CEO advisory peer group that is absolutely amazing. Welcome, Wally.

Chantel: We always have Heather [Roemmich 00:00:33] here with us. Welcome, Heather.

Heather: Hello.

Chantel: And Brian [Dell'Olio 00:00:36].

Brian Dell'Olio: Good morning.

Chantel: All right. Well, today we are talking about goals. It's the beginning of the year. Everyone wants to talk about goals. It's funny. I don't know what the statistics are, but it's kind of like everyone sets all these goals by January, and I think it's like by February that they're done with their goals. They're not hitting them. That's what we want to talk about is the most common mistakes when people create their goals. Who can give us some tips?

Wally Schmader: I can start. I think, Chantel, the most common mistake with goals is just not setting goals. Most people don't take the time to do it. They say only 3% of people have written goals, and those 3% are 30 times more successful than those that don't, so I think just to start out with the idea of setting some goals.

Chantel: That blows my mind, honestly, that literally only 3% of people have written goals. Then it also says what's the percentage of people who have goals but they're in their mind?

Wally Schmader: I think it's 17% just keep them in their head, but what I think is missing then ... If you don't have your goals ... Imagine you're starting the year, and you don't have any goals or resolutions. You don't really have anything to connect yourself to the future, right? Your goals are what tie you to your future self or your future outcomes. I had a mentor once, years ago, and he had this quote that stuck in my head which was, "You either have goals, or you work for someone who does."

Chantel: I love that. If someone wants to ... the best way for them to start their goals, what would you say that would be? If you said what are some ... First, I'd love us to share some of our goals, if you guys won't mind sharing. One of my goals is to visit the nursing home, I literally put once a week, and I put on Saturdays at 2:00 p.m., so that's one of the goals that I have.

Wally Schmader: Nice. One of my goals is a fitness-wellness goal. I fell off track last year, and I want to get back on just trying to take a little bit better care of my body.

Chantel: What is the specific measurable and actionable goal that you have for that?

Wally Schmader: It's really specific. It's something every day, either a jog, or tennis, or, golf, or weights, something every single day.

Chantel: Seven days a week.

Wally Schmader: Seven days a week, something, not the same thing, because I always ... I've learned about myself that, if I have too much repetition, I won't do it, so in doing that, I think I'm setting myself up for success.

Heather: That's great.

Chantel: Yeah. 2019, I wanted to take better care of myself. I'm always pouring into other people and-

Heather: You really are.

Chantel: A very wise person said, "You have to pour into yourself before you can pour into other people," and so mine is a fitness goal. Last year, I really worked on eating healthier, so this year I wanted to add fitness to that. My specific goal is that five times a week I have to do 30 minutes of an exercise activity. I measure that by my watch, tells me when I've had my heartbeat above a certain rate for 30 minutes or more, and I close that ring. I'm a visual ... I like to see it there, so I know that five time a week I have to close that ring of 30-minute workout or more.

Brian Dell'Olio: That's very cool. For me, mine is professional. I've achieved a master's degree in my field, but I'm looking forward to looking to try to improve and take my career to the next level, and so the next step for me is really gaining a certification called the Sherm CP, which is an HR certification. My goal is to have the prep class and the study completed by the beginning of the summer and then take the actual exam in the fall testing period.

Wally Schmader: Nice.

Chantel: Do you have a specific date of when you have said ... Have you said, "Okay, I'm going to study for 30 minutes every day," or, "I'm going to study 30 minutes three times a week and, by this date, I'm going to have the study materials done, and then, by this date, I'm going to have the test done"?

Brian Dell'Olio: One of the things that I've learned about myself, and I think you'll appreciate this story, Chantel, is kind of how I learn best, right? When I first started with you, you challenged me to get my real estate license, right? You told me, "Brian, everyone does it online. It's self-paced. It's so easy. You just knock it out." What I know about myself is that, for me, the craziness of life makes it so much more difficult for me to structure that 30-minute study time per day, and so I did the in-person class to get my real estate license done. What I learned about myself is that created the structure for me that I needed in order to be successful. I knew I was going to the class on these dates at these times, and that's what I did. It got me through it much faster. For the prep class for the exam, I'm doing the same thing. There is a self-study option. I'm doing the in-person class through ODU on a specific schedule so that it helps hold me accountable to getting there.

Chantel: Yeah. It's like my mom. She always says all the time ... she's like, "Know thyself. Know thyself." What that means is is ... She would say it with the craziest things. Let's say, for example, for her, the know thyself, she loves Twizzlers, and so she can get really out of control when she eats Twizzlers.

Heather: Woo.

Chantel: In her mind, she's like, "If I buy them, forget it. The whole thing's going to be gone," so she'd be like ... I'd be like, "Oh, do you want this?" She'd be like, "Know thyself. No, I'm not getting them." Wild.

Wally Schmader: She's got Twizzler goals, right?

Chantel: Yeah. Twizzler goals, yeah.

Wally Schmader: Let me add some context for people who are listening that haven't done goals a lot. Now, I want you to think about you're getting ready to take a weekend trip. You're going up to DC, let's say. What goes into that planning for that weekend trip? You know you have to fill up the car. You know where you're going to stop. You know where you're getting gas. You know where you're going to sleep. You know where you're going to eat. You know when you're coming back. You know when you're leaving. You do all those things, and the thing happens. You get to DC. You do your sightseeing. You come back. Most people won't take any of that time on their own lives. If you decided you wanted to have a good year, wouldn't that deserve as much attention and time and planning as a weekend trip?

Brian Dell'Olio: Right.

Wally Schmader: Right? Yet most people don't spend as much time on a whole year as they would on a weekend road trip.

Brian Dell'Olio: Wally, we have so many people that [crosstalk 00:06:38]-

Chantel: Yeah. Hold on, Brian. I want people to really hear that because ... I don't remember who it is, but someone has that as their quote. They say people spend more time planning a weekend trip than they do planning their entire lives or even the entire year of their life.

Brian Dell'Olio: Crazy, isn't it? The question is we probably ... We have so many high achievers that listen to this podcast who have all these things that they want to get done. How do you start? What do you focus on? If you have 12 things, that seems overwhelming to even start with.

Wally Schmader: Yeah. Well, you start with the magical question, and I'm going to tell everybody what it is, so write it down. The magical question for setting goals is you take your ... We call it casting forward so you can look back. Let's all go to Tuesday, December 31st, New Year's Eve 2019. Is everybody there? Now think, for a second, what would have made it a great year? What would have made 2019 a great year for your family, for your profession, everything about your life? Those first few things you write down are your most important goals where you can say, "This was a fantastic year. I did important things in my family life, in my work life." That's the question. We call it the December 31st question because it immediately puts you in that place even if you don't consider yourself to be a really good goal setter.

Brian Dell'Olio: Even if I have this list of 12 things, the first one, two, three that pop into my mind I'm automatically figuring out what's most important.

Wally Schmader: Yeah. Professional, really experienced goal setters like Chantel and some of the other people I get to work with know this interesting thing which is, at a certain point, too many goals is bad. The 17th goal actually is going to keep you from making that third goal happen. It diffuses your attention.

Chantel: That's a good point. How many goals do you feel like is the right number that ... For example, they say ... I've seen different studies where they say, "How many people would you say is the right amount of people that you have as direct reports underneath you?" What would you say that number is?

Wally Schmader: Seven is what the experts say.

Chantel: Yeah, so some people say seven. Some people say eight. I think the max I've seen is 10, or just people say that you can have 7 to 10, but 7 is kind of that ideal number of underneath you. If you were going to say, "This is the ideal number of goals that you should set," what would you say that is?

Wally Schmader: I think it's five, five that you'd put in the must category. Now, that's like your main healthcare fitness goal, not having 11 different goals around that, because if you can't get to the first or second, you're not going to get to the eighth or ninth. You don't want all those eighth and ninth, 10th goals to put risk into you hitting those ... like the one that you just shared a minute ago, Heather. That goal, additional health and fitness goals would put that at risk, so you want to narrow down and say, "No, no, no. I'm just going to make sure this happens," and then all kinds of other good things will happen because of it. Right?

Heather: Right, yeah.

Chantel: Well, let's talk about the categories, so what those categories are, and let's come up with what your goals are or any goals that you know of, of stories of people that have set those goals. Obviously, one is financial. Does anyone want to share one or one someone knows of?

Wally Schmader: Yeah. We talked about health and fitness, just some wellness goals, I think, are smart, and a lot of things come out of those. If you're doing good things around your wellness, there's a great chance that it's going to affect what you do at work and what you do with your family, so that's a good one.

Brian Dell'Olio: I think, from a financial perspective, it's really sitting down with your spouse or significant other and really understanding, on December 31st, where do we want to be? Is there a vacation we're saving for? Is there a student loan we're paying off? Is there a car that we're paying off? Then kind of working back, how do we get there? We're going to use this particular app every week to track our progress and figuring out that process.

Chantel: I'm glad you brought up spouse or significant other because I think it's important that you set goals with your spouse or significant other at the beginning of the year. I've even see people take retreats. Wally, I think you do that with your spouse.

Wally Schmader: I do. We've got a-

Chantel: You can do a little retreat away.

Wally Schmader: Yeah. We call it Destination Goal Setting. For now, this was out 17th year together going somewhere in the world to set goals. We've been crazy places. We've been to New York City a few times, Costa Rica, Majorca, Spain, London, Seattle, Panama. We went to Asheville. We took the Coast Starlight Train from Los Angeles up to Seattle last year setting our goals on this train ride. What's amazing about it is you're going for the purpose of ... I mean is setting goals for a whole year worth a weekend?

Brian Dell'Olio: Right.

Wally Schmader: Of course it is. No one would argue with that, so making it a family tradition. One of the things that maybe some of you have discovered is, kids are the best goal setters there are. They're naturally great at it, so you want to involve your family, especially if you've got kids. They're better at setting goals than adults are usually.

Chantel: Yeah. I actually did [crosstalk 00:11:10] yes, we did that this year for the first time. What I did was, sat down with my kids. I was actually really surprised that they actually set goals. I have an eight year old and a five year old I kind of gave 'em some examples to get 'em started. Once my eight year old got going, he was just ... next thing you know he's like, "I'm gonna run a mile three times a week." I was like, "Who you gonna run a mile with? Because now I'm gonna have to get involved in this goal. I just can't let you run a mile by yourself."

Chantel: It is really exciting to see how you develop them. But I do want to talk about something else. We see the high-level goals. But I know, as a leader, it's really important to coach the people underneath of you. That's why, when Chantel was talking about this specific actionable and measurable, why you have to have them set out how they're gonna get to that goal, because it's easy to say, "Did you hit your five ... did you lose a pound this week?" Right. That's usually the goal. Then they say no, then you have nowhere to go when you're saying ... like, when I'm sitting down with an agent, for instance, and I would say their goal was to ratify two contracts this week. I'd say that's a great goal. How are you going to do that? Let's talk about, what are you gonna do everyday to hit that goal?

Chantel: Then when I meet with them next week and say, "Hey did you get your two ratified this week?" They're gonna say no and I'm gonna say, "Let's look at, did you do your action steps?" That's where, typically, you'll find their habits and their patterns. That's how you correct them and help coach them, to be able to hit that goal. Otherwise, you're swimming ... you know, there's nowhere to go.

Brian Dell'Olio: I think that's what most people trip up on in the goal-setting process, the action step part. It's easy to sit here and say, "I want to get two ratifieds per week. Or I'm gonna save for that vacation." But it's the action step part of that, that's most difficult.

Wally Schmader: Those specifics are what turn a wish into a goal.

Chantel: Yes.

Wally Schmader: People sit around and wish all the time. Wishes aren't attached to any kind of activity or any kind of specificity, like Chantel had talked about. You had mentioned your charitable goal. I think that's a good category, the charitable goal for your family or [inaudible 00:13:15]. A lot of times, you're not going to have that conversation in your family unless it comes up as a goal. We had one a few years ago in our family, when the kids were younger, where we used to call Bingo at the Ballentine Senior Living Center in Norfolk for four years. Every Wednesday night we went and called bingo. My kids were really little, but they learned all these great things. They weren't around a lot of old people, so that helped any senior citizens. They learned public speaking in front of a very demanding audiences. These ladies are serious about their bingo. You gotta get it right.

Wally Schmader: They have this great memory now of getting in there and contributing their time to something important.

Chantel: I have seven categories, and we have a template that you can download in this show notes. It has these seven categories. I really like these categories because it makes you ... when you just say to some like, "Make your goals," it's really hard to think of them. So if you have a template, one is health, two is financial, three is spiritual, four is leadership, five is family, six is household, and seven is career.

Chantel: I'm gonna share my son's goals of these, of what he had come up with. I said come up with one for all of these. And so for him, for health, he said, "I want to go to the gym two days a week, or play tennis one time a week." That is a very specific measurable goal for health. For financial, he said he wants to make one lemonade stand in the months of June, July, and August. And he wants to save $5 dollars a week from his allowance, and give ten percent of his allowance to God, and learn how to increase.

Chantel: His spiritual goal is to listen to a Steven [Ferick 00:14:53] podcast two times a week. His leadership goal is to listen to a Crag [Grochelle 00:14:57] leadership podcast once a week. His family goal is to not be on the phone more than one and a half hours per day on the phone, so he can spend more time with the family. His household goal is to go to the grocery store with me once a week, so he has more input on the grocery list. And his career goal is, he wants to be a professional football player. He wants to practice playing football at least 30 minutes every single day.

Wally Schmader: So think about how sophisticated that is. This kid has seven categories of goals with specific and measurable goals in each category, and all of us adults could take a lesson from that. Chantel's right. Having prompts by categories will help you come up with more goals. If you just say, "Here's a blank sheet of paper, write down your goals, Brian."

Brian Dell'Olio: Right.

Wally Schmader: That's not the way you get to the best part of your head and thoughts. The categories and things, then narrow them down like you did. That's smart.

Chantel: Does anyone want to share their goals or good goals that they've seen? Talk about the financial goals, Heather, of what we do with agents, when we go to them and we sit down with an agent and say, "What do you want to achieve?" How would you walk someone through that? Either Heather or Wally, why don't you guys role play that.

Heather: Yeah.

Chantel: You're gonna talk her through what her financial goals are. Pretend she's an agent and you're kind of her leader.

Wally Schmader: Okay. So, I would usually get a set on where the person is now, like, how are you-

Chantel: So, go ahead and ask-

Wally Schmader: Okay, so tell me about your savings today. How are you putting money back? What are your goals around savings?

Heather: So, as you know, I'm a commissioned agent. Sometimes I have really great months and I have a lot of money. And then some months are just a little slower. So I have to be cognizant of my savings.

Wally Schmader: Right.

Heather: You know, I try to save, but things happen in life, like last week my tire blew and I had to buy a new tire. And then my kid got sick, I had to take them to the doctor. I definitely could be more intentional about is. It's okay. Of course, I'd love it to be more.

Wally Schmader: Right. So you said a few really important things there. You said you set out to have some goals. You said you had a variable income. You said that it goes up and down. And you said you live in the real world, so things happen.

Heather: That's right.

Wally Schmader: Those are things we all have in common. I would say, for those of you that have variable income, it's really important to have your savings goal be a percentage, and it's important to understand that it's harder to do it when the amounts are small. When you have $100,000 check, it's easy to put back that ten percent.

Heather: Right.

Wally Schmader: When you have a thousand dollar check, it's not that easy. That's when you build those muscles. Making it a percentage, so you do it when the amounts are small and when the amounts are large, is really important. You're building your saving muscles when the amounts are small, because it's actually harder then. Does that make sense?

Heather: Sure that makes sense.

Wally Schmader: Then I would think about some future number that you'd like to have, like if we could get to this, then backtrack. Say, I'd like to have ten thousand dollars saved by the end of next year, whatever the number is. What that would take. So divide it by month and then you can kind of reality check it, and say, "Can I do that in our lifestyle? Can I do that with our committeemen?" Then maybe you adjust it one way or the other. [crosstalk 00:18:06]

Chantel: And try to figure out how to break that yearly goal into a monthly goal. Then turn it into a weekly goal, is really the way to do it.

Heather: Right.

Chantel: What about for agents where you would say ... a lot of times, people say, "I want to sell 24 houses this year." But they don't put the action steps of what they need to get there.

Heather: Right. So that's where we ... that's where, when I sit down with them, I'll say, "Okay, you want to sell 24 houses a year. That comes out to be about two houses a month. What do you have to do to sell two houses a month?" Out of the two houses a month, how many houses to you have to get under contract? Let's say three, just in case we get one that has a financing fall-through at the end. So you need three. How many clients do you have to meet with to show houses to get three contracts signed a month? So, of the clients that you're actually showing houses to, how many do you have to meet to get to that point? We work our way, all the way back to, how many calls do you have to make every day in order to meet that end goal.

Wally Schmader: Ding, ding, ding. That's you're leading indicator. Goals should always be aimed at that leading indicator, the thing you do that makes all the other stuff happen. That's why running everyday can be a better goal than losing ten pounds. Because losing ten pounds is just a thing. Running every day, you know whether you did it or not. Same thing with calls. Most of us are in situations where we have some numbers we can fall back on, that are pretty reliable. If you don't know those numbers for your work, probably somebody does and you can ask them fore the ratios, the recommendations to do what you need to do. But that was a great example.

Chantel: And I think that having an accountability partner is really important. One of my goals, under my leadership goals that I had, was to do this leadership podcast every single week. I went to Heather and I went to Brian and Josh, and I was like, "Okay, this is one of my goals. My goals is to do a leadership podcast every week." I came in and said we're gonna set it up. Next week is when we're starting it. Actually, I didn't say next week. [crosstalk 00:20:04] I think I said today.

Heather: We never do anything next week.

Chantel: Did I say today?

Heather: Yes.

Chantel: I think I did it the next day, actually, that's funny. I'm not really a next week kind of person. I'm either today or tomorrow kind of girl.

Wally Schmader: Chantel is someone who fantastic, and you guys know this better than anybody, at taking an intention, and turning it into a real thing in a very short period of time. It can be ready [crosstalk 00:20:28] fire, aim. But it still happens. Which is what you want. So-

Chantel: It's just a matter of, I think a lot of times, people get into this thing of, let's plan it and let's organize it, let's figure out how we're gonna do this and do thing that. Some of that is good. You need that. But one of the things I love to say is that you can steer a moving ship, but you cannot steer a ship that's sitting still. That is true. You cannot, you can't steer one. You've gotta get moving, and then you can start steering it. Go ahead and film the first podcast. If you don't like it, guess what-

Heather: Delete.

Chantel: Delete, yeah! You don't even have to air it. You can learn from it. But start getting out there and go, "Here's the mics, we're filming this. We're recording it."

Wally Schmader: Done is better than perfect. A lot of people get stuck on having things arranged and set up before they begin something.

Heather: Yeah, but I do want to talk about accountability partners real quick. You talked about how important it is to have an accountability partner, but you need the right one.

Chantel: That is good, Heather. Okay [crosstalk 00:21:36]

Heather: Because, everybody wants an accountability partner that, when they say, "Hey, did you get up at 4:30 this morning and do your workout?" You're like, "No, I was too tired." They're like, "That's okay, tomorrow's a new day," no, it's not the right answer. The answer is, get your booty out of bet. I listened to this guy, he trains for Kevin Hart. He said-

Chantel: When you said he trains for Kevin Hart-

Heather: He's a trainer. The [crosstalk 00:21:58]

Chantel: Personal trainer, okay.

Heather: Yeah. Have you heard him? His name is ... gosh, now I can't remember off the top of my head. It's Boss, his name's Boss. When you have a name like Boss [crosstalk 00:22:10] come on, now. So I listen to him. He said he was fired from one of his first training jobs with Ne-Yo, the rapper, I'm sure that's on your playlist, Wally.

Wally Schmader: Sure [crosstalk 00:22:19] I was listening to Ne-Yo on the way over here. It's "Ne-Yo." Right.

Heather: That's right. Because Ne-Yo said, "You have to come in and wake me up every morning to train me." He was like, "I am a grown adult. I am not waking you up. You either get up and work out, or this isn't going to work out." Ne-Yo said, "No, you don't understand, I'm paying you to come wake me up." And he fired him. He said that was the best thing that ever happened to him, because he learned that people have to have accountability partners that literally sometimes physical pluck you out of bed. That's what you have to have. If you have a yes-man accountability partner, find a new one.

Chantel: Oh, I have a great story for this. I had a personal trainer, and he was the nicest guy you've ever met. What happened was, I'm just getting older, and I feel like everything's falling apart on me. So, my knee was hurting, my elbow hurts, my wrist hurts. I would go into him and be like ... hey, my knee is really hurting today. And it was. I wasn't lying. It really was. He'd be like, "No problem. We won't do lunges or squats. We won't do this." He just kept making the workouts so easy, that I was like, "This is just and not working out. So guess what, I got a new trainer.

Chantel: Because I was like, this guy, I need someone to be like, "I don't care if your knee hurts or not," not that much. But you know what I'm saying. Like saying, "Okay, we're still doing squats, but we're going to tweak it like this. We're still gonna do lunges, but we're gonna tweak it like this." Because if you get someone that's too soft, I'm not using that trainer any more.

Wally Schmader: I think we all need accountability partners and we all need cheerleaders. But they're never the same person.

Chantel: That's right.

Wally Schmader: I think that guys needs to be a tough guy. [crosstalk 00:24:06] I talked over you, Brian.

Brian Dell'Olio: No, that's fine.

Chantel: We need to add that somehow in the show notes. That's good. We need cheerleaders, and we need accountability partners, but they can't be the same person.

Heather: Yep.

Brian Dell'Olio: No, I was gonna go back to your point around planning and organizing before you start something. I, as Chantel very well knows, like to consider every angle before I make a decision. Sometimes you have to just move forward. I had a mentor, because I would do this in previous environments that I worked in. They would say, "Brian, you were stuck in analysis paralysis. You need to get off of ... you've considered through your four data points, you need to move forward and take the risk." You're gonna have some risk when you're rolling out a strategy, but you can't get stuck in that analysis paralysis.

Wally Schmader: [crosstalk 00:24:52] ... about yourself, that you can get stuck in the details and not move on something.

Brian Dell'Olio: Yes.

Wally Schmader: Okay. That's the self-knowledge that helps you set the right goals.

Chantel: And here, Brian used to work at Apple before he worked at Chantel Ray. It's like ...

Brian Dell'Olio: Yeah, I had to work at one of the most successful companies to quality me to come to Chantel [crosstalk 00:25:07]

Chantel: Yes. Exactly.

Brian Dell'Olio: After five years at Apple [crosstalk 00:25:09] finally.

Chantel: That is one thing I would say, wouldn't you say that I'm really have gotten our whole leadership really on board with, yeah, we need to plan. Yeah, we need to do some analysis beforehand, but at some point, we have to move forward and pull that trigger.

Brian Dell'Olio: I think that's one of the things that you've helped me with, kind of grow just on my own, that you've told me, "Brian, I'd rather you take more risks and have to backtrack later, than do nothing." And so that has kind of helped push me forward and getting stuck in that a little bit less.

Chantel: Let's talk about, let's say that if your goals or situations change mid-process, what's the best way to handle that? I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about. One of my goals is very specific, actual, and measurable. It's to go to the nursing home to visit someone in the nursing home every Saturday at 2:00. Saturday at 2:00, I had a birthday party, and then Sunday, we had back-to-back parties, so this weekend, I wasn't able to do it. I could've just easily been like, "Alright, I'm just not going to the nursing home this week. It just didn't work out for me to be able to visit them. I'm just moving on." But I'm like, no, today I'm going to the nursing home to visit home. And on top of it, I already know I'm going out of town this weekend, so I'm adding another person that I'm visiting and bringing a meal to, that has ALS.

Chantel: So I'm kind of doubling up to make sure that I hit that goal. So, what kind of suggestions do you have when something happens that kind of throws you off from hitting those goals?

Wally Schmader: I think it's not even when something, I mean, it's going to happen.

Chantel: It's going to, yeah.

Wally Schmader: If we're talking about like a goal for a year, you're going to get knocked off track again and again. I think that's part of just accepting that, living in the real world, things happen. I think, in these goal-setting workshops we do, we call them lightening strikes. That is just something that ... [crosstalk 00:27:05]

Chantel: We need a lightening strike.

Wally Schmader: You have a sound effect for that. And you have all these great intentions and maybe you're excited about some things. Maybe even have some momentum towards some things. And then something happens. You lose your job. You have an illness or something that knocks you out. You just have to regroup, and know that if my goals can survive this, or if I need to make some adjustments, then that's great. Last year, a very personal example, I'm going through a ton of family goals that we're going to do in and around the area here. My mom was living here. She passed away in the fall. So, everything changed. Everything about my work, our family relations. We had all get together and double down on all the things that were happening around this.

Wally Schmader: Did it change ... I mean, do you think that affected my goals? Of course. I had to come back and make some adjustments. Still have a successful year, still say 2018 was a year that moved us forward. But that's an example. It doesn't have to be that big to knock you off track. But I think there's an awareness, as Chantel said, this is gonna happen. And I'm gonna be resilient enough to make an adjustment and keep going.

Chantel: And that's a good point. Let's talk about reviewing and modifying.

Heather: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

Chantel: Because, for example, I started this year, in January, me and my husband went away to Florida for Christmas to make our goals for the year. We actually, our anniversary's coming up. I told him, "This is great, we're going to go back to Florida, because it's freezing here. And we're going to do just a quick two day weekend trip." We can get on the plane, get there I two hours, pay for one night of a hotel, it's worth it for us to kind of have a getaway and feel like we're getting away. But I'm going to review the goals again, because I'd like to tweak them now that it's been a month since I've been doing the goals, to go, am I happy with this goal? Do I want to change it? Do I want to tweak it a little bit?

Heather: Yeah, I think too, a lot of people call it the 411. You have your one yearly goal. Or we're talking about five yearly goals. But you have the yearly one-

Chantel: The main one.

Heather: Then you have the monthly, then you have the weekly. But I think that quarterly, at a minimum, you need to just do a check-in on your goals and say, where am I at? What do I need to adjust? We don't want people setting goals that you can never achieve, because then it's like, Chantel is the perfect example of a friend of hers that was a tennis coach. I'm gonna give your tennis coach example.

Chantel: Perfect.

Heather: He's a tennis coach. His daughter was playing tennis, and he was like, "I know how I'm going to make her a better tennis player. I'm going to put her in a league above her level, because she's going to play up, she's going to get better." She started playing in all these tournaments and she lost every single match. So afterwards, after a while, he was like, "How's it going?" And she's like, "I hate tennis." He's like [crosstalk 00:29:43] why. She's like, "I lose every time. I can't-" it was such a great lesson-

Chantel: Wait, let me add on. Because she's not telling the whole story. Yes, that's right, every single match, he was like, "She's gotta play up." She lost every single match. But then what happened, when he put her in the right category, let's just say, I don't know if you guys know anything about tennis, but let's say that she was a 4.5. She should've been a 4.0. He put her in the 4.5. When she went to play in 4.5, she lost every single match. She's a definite strong 4.0. She should be winning almost two out of three matches. When she went to 4.0, guess what happened, she actually started losing every match, even in the 4.0. Why? Because her self-esteem was so bad, she was so defeated, she was just like, "I'm not gonna be able to win." She had a bad attention. Mentally, she was just a mess.

Chantel: So it took a while for her to get herself back on track to be that.

Wally Schmader: I think that anything you can do, back to Heather's question around bolting your goals down. That's gonna help with probability. It's gonna squeeze some of the risk out. Some of the things that I've seen done that are really good ideas, are checking in quarterly, monthly, depending on what kind of goal it is. Putting them on your refrigerator. You see the pictures of the things. You see people, I mean, if you're gonna check 'em every quarter or every month, put it on your calendar. It's an appointment. Put it in there. It pops up and reminds you. I met a guy last week that did something I never heard of before. But every year, his main goal, he makes his password for all his devices. So he has to type that stupid thing in five times a day. [crosstalk 00:31:23] It was his password was "lose25."

Chantel: Wow.

Wally Schmader: Lose 25 in 2019.

Chantel: I like that.

Wally Schmader: They got that. That's in your face all day. I never heard that one before. But any way you can attach yourself to the goals and bolt them down, makes 'em more real, and again, squeezes some of the risk out of 'em.

Chantel: Right.

Wally Schmader: Especially if they're aggressive goals.

Brian Dell'Olio: This guy's probably changing his password everywhere now. [crosstalk 00:31:45]

Wally Schmader: Lose 20 pounds, lose 15-

Heather: Yeah, but you do want to make sure you're winning two of three times, because if you do set stuff that's too high, then it is discouraging and next, you'll be like, "I don't want to set any goals. That was the worst year ever. I was just a big failure."

Wally Schmader: Great point. Set some goals you know you're gonna hit.

Heather: Yeah, that you know that you can hit. That are still stretched, but not too much of a stretch that you can't. You want to build muscle, you want to stretch yourself, but you want to also make sure they're achievable.

Wally Schmader: Right. Here's where your accountability partner can be of another kind of help, that is, we call it a sanity check. Just getting a sanity check, saying, "Brian, can you take a look at these?" Maybe someone who's accomplished one of the things or a few of the things you want to do. Have 'em take a look. Say, "What do you think? Are these good goals?"

Chantel: Let me go back to the tennis example, because I forgot to say this as well. One of the things he said to me was that you should be hitting, the tennis coach, "When you know that you're in the right place, tennis-wise, as far as your league goes, you should be winning two out every three matches. That way, your self esteem is high enough so that you're doing good. But if you're winning three out of three, that means you didn't stretch yourself at all. You need to bump up to the next category." In general, two out of three, you should be able to hit, and then you know you're stretching yourself, but you're also making it achievable.

Chantel: All right. We are out of time. Any other last minute tips that anyone can think of that you can do that, that you can say this is going to take you to the next level with your goals?

Wally Schmader: I would say, just last reminder, we want to be deliberate in our lives. We want to be intentional. And goals are a great way to do that.

Heather: Yeah, and set 'em in every area of your life. A lot of people think of goals as just being fitness, or business. Really, every area of your live, family, personal, intimacy goals, all of those. [crosstalk 00:33:35]

Chantel: Are you gonna share your intimacy goal?

Heather: No I am not. [crosstalk 00:33:40]

Wally Schmader: Is there a little bit more time to hear some of HEather's intimacy-

Chantel: I'm not gonna share Heather's intimacy goal. But, an intimacy goal example could be, "I want to have sex with my husband five times a week," that could be a goal. Or, "I want to have sex with my husband two times a week." That is a good goal.

Wally Schmader: So somewhere [crosstalk 00:33:58]

Chantel: As long as it's not a low number, your husband's gonna be very on board [crosstalk 00:34:07]

Wally Schmader: It's attainable, right?

Chantel: Yeah. [crosstalk 00:34:07]

Wally Schmader: Attainable, actionable.

Chantel: Wally, thanks again for being on this show. You are the master of goals. If someone want to learn more about you or your leadership books, tell 'em where they can find you.

Wally Schmader: Exceptional Leaders Lab dot com. Thanks, Chantel.

Chantel: Thank you, and thank you, Heather. And thank you, Brian. We'll see you guys next time. Bye, bye.

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